The COVID-19 pandemic has caused so many changes in people’s lives, it’s hard to know where to begin. While we still aren’t out of the woods of the pandemic, one thing is certain: it has affected relationships and is continuing to do so.
One article from the BBC has suggested that “divorce rates are increasing around the world, and relationship experts warn the pandemic-induced breakup curve may not have peaked yet.”
When it comes to marriages, there is no denying that the pandemic has caused extra stress. Maybe you’ve started to work remotely, or you don’t have anyone to take care of your kids. Or perhaps you or your spouse lost your job, and you’re trying to deal with financial challenges.
That kind of stress can wreak havoc on your marriage. Thankfully, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
Recognizing the Stress Money Can Cause
Even when we’re not in the midst of a pandemic, money is a common cause of contention in marriages. Now, however, it may be causing even more stress due to so much uncertainty.
If one of you has lost your job, you might not know when (or if) you’ll get it back. You might not be able to find another one quickly, or at least one that offers the same salary. Job loss can make you feel like a failure, on top of pushing fears to the forefront of your mind.
That combination makes it easy to be “on edge” most of the time. And who do you think you’ll take those feelings out on? Unfortunately, when money becomes an issue in marriages, especially on top of other stressful situations, it can lead to serious arguments and greater problems at the core of your relationship.
What Can You Do?
If your relationship is starting to suffer due to financial or job loss, one of the best things you can do is sit down with your spouse and make a plan. By working on a strategy together, you’ll remind yourselves that you’re on the same team and you both want the same results.
Your plan should include how to re-distribute responsibilities, especially if one of you is working and one isn’t. It should also include a budget. You may have to cut things out of your life for a while until your finances are more secure, but a budget can be a big help in maintaining your finances.
When you’re on the same page as your spouse, your communication is stronger. As a result, you’re less likely to fight over things that seem confusing or uncertain.
Don’t Ignore Your Relationship
It’s important to make your finances a priority if you’re struggling with them. But it’s equally important to pay attention to your marriage and yourself. Take time as often as possible to do something relaxing, or something you enjoy. Self-care can help you to remain calm and composed so you can approach your spouse from a clearer state of mind.
Don’t forget to take care of your relationship too. Plan a date night with your spouse, even if it just involves staying in and cooking dinner together. Structure your time together rather than “squeezing it in” when you can, and be completely present and focused on each other during that time.
--
There’s no question that the amount of loss experienced due to COVID-19 is devastating. But with loss comes growth—if you’re willing to put in the work. You and your spouse can get through this if you’re willing to work together.
However, if you’re still struggling in your relationship because of your finances or other issues that have come to the surface, marital counseling can help. Feel free to contact me for more information.
Click here for more information on Marriage Counseling.