Are You Struggling To Find A Good, Stable Relationship?

Do the demands of your life, personal and professional, make it hard to make time to find either a long term or marital partner? Have you recently gone through a significant break up or divorce that has diminished your hope for love? Are you about to get married and experiencing anxiety about whether you’re making the right decision?

If any of the above questions resonate with your situation, it is no wonder you’re considering getting support.  Moreover, your relationship challenges may extend beyond romance and marriage. Perhaps you struggled to form connections with your family, making it difficult as an adult to make meaningful and lasting relationships. This causes you to feel empty, lonely, sad, and rejected. However, you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Have you considered relationship counseling to help you sort out the relational patterns and underlying issues that cause challenges for you in finding a mate?

Relationship counseling is not just for struggling couples.  It can also be very beneficial for those who have trouble forming lasting connections, people who have been recently separated, or divorced and are nervous about starting all over again. What will it be like to open up to someone new? Can I allow myself to be vulnerable again?  

Potential For A Close Relationship Might Seem Impossible

Feeling that you will never find companionship could affect social interactions, as you might feel incapable of connecting with others who may not seem approachable or welcoming. This can be further exacerbated by a feeling of being different. Or perhaps from your family of origin experience you are used to feeling misunderstood so you are inclined to be more cautious and guarded with others. 

It may seem like there is a lack of potential for close relationships. If you work remotely, you probably find yourself primarily interacting with people on the computer screen.  While it may seem like you are engaging with many people in one day, you may realize once the screen is turned off that you feel lonely, disconnected and unable to relate to others in a meaningful or enjoyable way. Virtual relations are simply not the same! 

After work, you struggle to motivate yourself to go to the gym or make plans with your few friends, often choosing to isolate instead. Even when keeping in touch with your family, the conversations feel empty. You try opening up a discussion with your parents, but it doesn't go anywhere, leaving you puzzled. If you are divorced, you want to maintain connections with your kids, but if your kids are young adults, they may not be available. Ultimately, you desire new connections with others.

Relationship counseling can help you learn how to achieve the new connections you desire and improve your communication skills. You don't have to feel lonely, empty, or isolated anymore.

The Internet Has Made Us More Isolated From One Another

In 2020, the COVID-19 shutdown led to widespread feelings of isolation. Despite these feelings of isolation, the internet has become the primary means for people to connect and interact with each other. While many may feel a sense of comfort in remaining within the familiar confines of their own homes, this trend has proven to be an obstacle to forming genuine and meaningful connections. 

For instance, the pursuit of accumulating "likes" and amassing hundreds of followers on social media has led some to mistakenly believe that they have strong relationships with others when, in reality, genuine connections are not determined by mere numbers. Instead, the emphasis should be placed on the quality of relationships and the individuals with whom one establishes close bonds. 

Furthermore, it is important to remember that the curated images of others displayed online do not necessarily depict reality. Many seem to have overlooked these crucial aspects of genuine connection. Ultimately, it is all about prioritizing quality time spent with those who truly matter. At New Insights Psychotherapy Center, our mission is to empower you to create the connections that truly matter and enjoy a more vibrant social life.

Relationship Therapy Can Help You Build Connections From A Place Of Inner Strength

As we start to build our therapeutic relationship, my goal is to create a strong connection where you feel heard, understood, and supported. This connection can only be achieved if I, as a therapist, develop a deep understanding of the types of relationships you are struggling with. 

You need to feel comfortable with me; I understand this takes time. At the beginning and throughout our sessions, I will ask for your honest feedback about how you are feeling. This feedback is crucial for making meaningful progress in addressing your relationship issues.

As our work progresses, we will explore and clarify your goals for therapy. I may ask you questions to help you articulate your needs and desires. It is important to keep in mind that as we work through specific issues, new ones may emerge, or we may discover that the underlying problems run deeper than initially thought. My job as a relationship counselor is to guide you to help you navigate through those hurdles.

Treatment For Relationship Therapy 

Drawing from my background in depth psychology, I will initially assess your presenting problem from a psychodynamic and psychoanalytic model. This approach helps me navigate the various aspects of your internal world that you may find confusing or want to change but do not know how to. It also allows me to examine how your relationships may feel dim, unwelcoming, or lacking in opportunities for meaningful connections. By exploring both the internal and external worlds from this perspective, I aim to gain deeper insight and understanding of the issues at hand.

In relationship counseling, it's crucial to understand how we form perceptions of others and ourselves. Therefore, I often incorporate Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT), which focuses on reflection and can result in emotion regulation. Additionally, I may integrate aspects of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) into our approach. CBT can help you challenge negative thoughts about relationships so that you can feel more grounded in your connections with others, as well as with yourself. 

In an ideal world, we all want to feel emotionally supported, loved, and cared for without fearing abandonment or rejection. Positive connections with friends, family, and romantic partners contribute to our overall well-being. When challenges arise in these relationships, having the assurance of love gives us the confidence and peace of mind to work through them. With the support of my services and with patience and time, you can build confidence and live from a place of inner strength. Stay courageous!

You May Be Interested In Relationship Counseling But Have Some Questions…

Will talking about my problems in therapy make them worse?

Experiencing transformative therapy that leads to positive change in your life requires time, commitment, and courage. While the ultimate goal is to feel better, it's essential to acknowledge that addressing specific issues may bring up pain or difficult memories. 

The difference in a supportive therapeutic relationship is that you have the guidance of a professional who can help you gain new insights into your personal experiences. Instead of feeling alone, you'll feel supported and understood by someone there to help you.

I am worried that I will become reliant on therapy.

At times throughout your therapy journey, you may find yourself desiring and requiring regular sessions. It's important to note that my approach to assistance is not about "doing something to you" to instigate change. Instead, I see myself as a facilitator, educator, and source of emotional support as you explore yourself and work on resolving your issues. Therapy will also focus on recognizing your inner strength, resilience, and self-assurance, empowering you to effectively manage challenging relationships on your own.

I’ve tried relationship therapy before, and nothing changed. How will this be any different?

Embracing change can be a challenging process, evoking memories of past experiences with family, romantic partners, and friends. However, it is possible to make intentional changes if you are genuinely committed and willing to put in the effort. I always advise clients that it may take a few sessions to determine if we are a good match. If not, I am dedicated to helping you find the right support that suits your needs.

Are You Ready To Leave Loneliness Behind?

If you are ready for a real and stable relationship and are willing to put in the work for it, I encourage you to pursue therapy with me. Call Dr. Liesl Scalzitti at (520) 365-0058 for a free 20 minute consultation.

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