Life is full of opportunities. Each day brings new adventures, new connections, and a blank page to create a new story.
So when an opportunity passes us by, why do we sometimes have this gutted feeling in the pit of our stomachs? Grief could be the explanation.
The loss of a loved one is not the only source of grief. We can experience grief after losing out on an opportunity that could have changed our lives for the better. Not to say there are no additional opportunities right around the corner, but the present loss can put us in our feelings.
Opportunity Grief Is Real
We only have a limited amount of time each day to get things accomplished. What we choose to spend our time on is something we consider being valuable. When we have a goal in mind, we invest time, energy, effort, hope, and emotion into them.
Losing such an opportunity, after dedicating any or all of the above, can elicit a mourning process. In the post-loss period, your grieving process may include shock, denial, anger, sadness, and depression. You may be having a great day and then something triggers you back to that lost opportunity and you feel a rush of negative emotions.
Coping With Your Grief
Acknowledging Your Feelings
While a door closing may seem trivial, it can be a significant factor in your life. It is ok to be upset or feel grief about this type of loss. Try not to compare your personal struggles with those of others—it can, in turn, negate your own.
Give yourself permission to be disappointed over this particular door closing. Allow yourself to be sad, angry, upset, or any other emotion. Feeling them, then releasing them, will allow you to cope with the situation.
Give Yourself Grace
We are often our own worst critic. If your friend came to you explaining a similar situation, how would you respond to them? You would likely be comforting and tell them that their feelings are valid.
Give yourself that same grace and kindness when dealing with your own grief. However long you need to work through your grief, be patient with yourself. Know this is entirely normal.
Reframe Your Narrative
Grief can be an overwhelming and exhausting process. Unfortunately, in this process, you may spend a lot of time reflecting on what was lost, what you could have done differently, or how your outcomes could have been changed.
Here is something to consider: when one door closes, another door opens. As you move through your grief process, try reframing your own narrative. Maybe this opportunity was lost in order to make way for something even better to come along.
You could think of life as being this pendulum or balanced scale. For the good things to happen, there will ultimately need to be negative things that happen as well.
Spend Time on Self-Reflection
Ok, so this door closed, and you are forced to move forward from it. Take this transitional time to do some self-reflecting. Evaluate your core values and beliefs. Make sure you are prepared and have a good understanding of how you want to move forward in a meaningful way.
Try viewing this loss as a new opportunity for personal growth and development.
What Comes Next?
Grief is not a linear process and there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to cope with these feelings. If your grief is causing your quality of life to take a dip, it does not have to be permanent.
Through grief therapy, we can explore healthy coping strategies, dive deeper into what your feelings, and get you on a path to recovery. Contact my office to schedule an appointment today.